Perhaps.. Perhaps.. Perhaps..

Do you believe in signs from above?

Religious people would call them signs from God, other people refer to them as signs from angels, friends/ relatives who have passed away, whereas other people may just call it coincidence.

In the past few months, I would like to think that if there is a higher power, then he has sent me a sign. Or if it is a relative who has passed away, then they have reached out to warn me about something. But then again, it could just be coincidence.

I had noticed a new mole type lesion appear on my jaw line, which was proving to be a real irritation. It would become swollen and itchy, and doubled in size quite quickly. This led me to seek out expert advice, so I visited The Mole Clinic, just off of London’s Oxford Street. 

http://www.themoleclinic.co.uk 

I had visited them years ago, when I was having a holiday at home (I was living in the Middle East at the time) and I was concerned that the increased sun exposure has caused me to gain many more moles. That on top of being a habitual tanning bed user from my late teens to mid-twenties, I knew deep down that I could be at risk of something nasty down the line.

Upon the investigation, I was informed that the mole on my Jaw line, was in fact nothing to worry about, and was in fact something named Seborrheic Keratoses. Completely harmless with no treatment required, unless you want to remove it for cosmetic reasons. The mole expert continued with the full body mole check, (it took a while, I must have easily over 250+ on my person), and two moles were flagged as needed further attention. One on my right leg, and one to the left hand side of my mid back. 

I always knew that this would be likely, as I have said, I am really ‘molely’. 

I was instructed to see a Dermatologist, and luckily, through being part of the Private Healthcare scheme with my employer, I was referred to a specialist at a private hospital quickly. By chance (or by divine intervention) I was actually referred to the same Dermatologist who I had seen when I was a depressed spotty teenager some 19 years earlier. I had always liked him as a kid. He saw my acne as a real problem, and not just something that all kids go through. He saw how it affected me, and made the right choices to get the correct solution. This pre-existing relationship certainly helped me feel that I was in safe hands. He quickly inspected the moles, and laid to rest any issue over my mole on the right leg that had raised concern. However the mole on back would need to be excised and sent for testing. 

He went on to explain that he although he cannot be 100% sure, he is confident that the mole may not prove to be anything suspect. But flagged that there were some definite anomalies in the mole, which will need to be examined. An appointment was made, and I was to return to have a minor operation, to remove the troublesome mole.

I left the appointment knowing the following: Best case scenario – this is a harmless mole, but just different from the others on my body. Worst case - it could be skin cancer. That is the fact of it.

I had the mole removed last Tuesday (23/2) under local anaesthetic, and had internal and external stitches to close the hole. It is sore  and I will have a scar a few inches long. But that is not a problem. The tough part has been waiting for the results. I was told it would be 10days. That should be this Friday if the lab work at the weekend, if not, the wait will go into next week. 

It is a weird emotion, the anxiety you feel waiting for a phone call that will tell you that you have or do not have cancer. It is hard to get your head around. You obviously have to go on as if nothing is wrong, go to work as usual, play with your son as usual, and reassure your Mrs that you are fine, that you are only thinking positively, and that everything will be ok. It’s hard to tell your parents that you are confident it will be fine, despite the fact that your Dad is sitting opposite you, at the early stages of a fight against cancer of his own. Its tough, with your Mum looking at you with concern in her eyes, no doubt reminding herself of all the times she told you – “Make sure you put your sun cream on”, and the times she told “I wished you didn’t use those tanning beds you don’t need a tan to look good”.

The funny thing about all of this shit news, is that the Seborrheic Keratoses that first made me go to the Mole Clinic, has completely disappeared. It is as if it was planted right on my face, so that I couldn’t miss it. That I had to go to get it checked out. And once I had done so, it disappeared as quickly as it formed. 

Perhaps it was God, as a way of telling me to keep going to church. I had only really started attending regularly since we decided to baptise my son, but I had felt myself really enjoying it. I felt that I was taking something from each Sunday’s mass, and I was trying to make myself a better human. Treating people better. Perhaps this was his way of rewarding my new found interest?

Then again, perhaps it was Uncle Charlie who I have mentioned in my first blog post Forever In Our Hearts. Perhaps this was his way of thanking me for naming my son after him, and to tell me I need to look after myself, and to see someone who could help me.

Or perhaps it was simply a Seborrheic Keratoses that formed which was always going to form and fall off with time. It was always going to grow on my jawline and disappear. Perhaps it was always going to do that. 

Regardless of what it was, it has lead me to where I am now. Anxious, concerned, nervous, but ultimately in a better position than if I had just left it. Upon immediate panic, i turned to Google and to Social media. Luckily I have found two great sources of information in the forms of  a blog http://www.melanomarollercoaster.co.uk/ and http://www.melanomauk.org.uk/

I will update when I get my call from the Dermatologist. If it is bad news, then this blog will take a different turn, and I will document the stages that I am going through, so that it can hopefully help someone else down. If it is good news, then it has been a real wake up call.

If you have any doubts about your own health, you need to do something about it. You simply cannot afford to leave it. If it is weighing on your mind, then it is enough of a concern that needs to be investigated. Only you can help yourself at the end of the day.

Unless you believe in signs from above that is!