Today is #RandomActsOfKindness day.
It shouldn’t be that hard to do. Being kind should be part
of our genetic make up as a human being. As children we were taught to be thoughtful and kind, however as
life rolls on and we grow up, it is easier to keep our heads down and focus on
our own lives, than taking literally minutes out of our day to do something
kind/thoughtful for someone else.
A few months back, when I was struggling with various
personal demons, I had the day from hell. You know that type of day. The type
of day that we have all had in our lives. The day where everything is just shit.
From the time you wake up, and continuously throughout the day – where everything
that could go wrong, does go wrong. The day where every ounce of effort to get
things right, is redundant, as things were destined to go wrong from the start.
My day at work had been awful. This resulted in having to
stay late, which meant I upset my partner as she couldn’t clock off of mummy
duties, as I would miss my son’s bed time, which pissed me off as I look forward
to that 20minutes more than any other minutes in my day, where we have baby and
daddy time, as I give him his formula and he settles to sleep on my chest.
The tube ride from the office was horrific. Packed on like
sardines, with the typical disgust and loathing that us London commuters seem
to have for one another. As I exited the station, it had started raining
heavily. I didn’t have an umbrella. I had taken it out to fit my laptop into my
bag, as I was going to have to log on again once I was home. I was literally so
annoyed at the hand that I had been dealt that day.
As I walked the 100metres or so between Embankment tube station
and Charing Cross over ground station, I saw a young guy, around my age,
sitting on the ground, clearly homeless. It was in that split second, I realised
how insignificant my problems really were. I did something that I would usually
never do. There was this guy - on the cold pavement, in the rain. He didn’t have
a penny to his name, no job, no home, no loved ones around him. He looked like
he needed help. Instinct took over and I stopped next to him, and without
realising I asked him if he had eaten today. He told me he hadn’t. I went straight
over to the Tesco Express store, and spent just over a fiver on random bits. A Mars
Bar, a can of Coke, a bottle of water, some crisps, a packet of tissues, a hot
sausage roll and a hot steak bake.
When I approached the gentleman for the second time, with
the bag of items that I had quickly picked up, the look on his face will stay
with me forever. The gratitude that man gave me that instant, was one of the
most moving experiences I have ever had. It was like I had given him the winning
lotto numbers. I stopped to talk to him, he quickly introduced himself as Derek,
he came from Northern Ireland, and had been homeless for only a few months. He
told me that he would try to get into accommodation for the evening, but there would
be no guarantee. He told me that he had sat in the same spot for a number of
hours, and hadn’t spoken to single person all afternoon and evening. After some
brief back and forth between us, I wished him well and told him I would look
for him when I was next passing.
I left Derek with a completely different outlook on my achievements
for the day from hell. I had done something kind for someone I hadn’t met
before. It may sound silly, but it was the type of action that I knew immediately
would be something that would make my mum proud. The inner child in me knew I had
done a good deed. It is crazy that something can mean so much to someone. He
was so thankful for my kindness, it inspired me to do more of it.
I found out that there is a whole global movement - https://www.randomactsofkindness.org/
- with the aim of spreading the message of getting people to do kind things for
others. Paying it forward. People doing good for someone, and that person in
turn doing a good deed for the next person.
Since then, I try to do something every week for someone I do
not know. It doesn’t have to involve spending money. It can be anything. Most
of mine tend be chivalrous acts, holding doors, offering help with luggage, letting people on transport first, offering help where it is needed etc. It helps. If you are feeling down or low, doing something nice for someone you do not know really seems to lift you up. There is something worthwhile in helping someone else. Try it in your own life. Do something for someone that you generally wouldnt usually do. There are lots of things online to help you find inspiration should you be struggling. It has certainly helped me.
This
morning for example, at the tube station platform, I saw a lady who had clearly
been taken ill and had vomited. People were walking around her, instead of
offering her some help. I gave her the packet of tissues from my bag, and asked
if she needed help to leave the station. I sat and spoke with her until she told
me she was feeling a bit better. She informed me that she was concerned she was
going to pass out before I spoke to her. I hope she felt better, but I felt
better for trying to help.
Buzzfeed posted a great article for 101 easy ideas for
Random Acts of Kindness.
Some of my favourites:
- Tweet or Facebook message a genuine compliment to three people right now.
- Smile at someone on the street, just because.
- Stop to talk to a homeless person.
- Remind yourself that everyone is fighting their own struggles.
- Help someone struggling with heavy bags.
- Call your mom.
- Join the organ donor register
- Give blood.
I remember years ago when I was at University, I saw a man pay
for an elderly ladies shopping in the supermarket. I automatically thought he
was a hero for doing that. It isn’t until now, that I realise there may have
been something underlying his reason for doing it. Either way, it was a great
gesture of kindness.
A friend of mine volunteers his Saturday morning’s, to sit
with an elderly lady in a local nursing home, and write her letters to her
friends and family across the world for her, as she can no longer do it. She
dictates, recalling stories and memories. He listens, observes, writes her
letters, and offers her something that other people take for granted. Kindness.
Give it a try, do something kind for someone you don’t know.
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