Somebody I Used to Know..

It is pretty amazing to think of how many people come into and out of our lives. 

Think of all the kids you knew at school, the people you met through clubs and activities as children. Are any of them still in your life? How about the people you met at college or the people you partied with? Chances are you may still have a core group of friends in your life who have been a constant. 

Are you still in contact with any of the people who shared the same place of work as you throughout your career? What about the people you met travelling, or the people who you formed an instant bond with over a shared passion? Are you still in touch, or simply keeping up with each other lives by looking on social media and occasionally liking one of their Facebook posts?

It is weird how people who you have been bonded with over a number years can suddenly be out of your life often without reason or warning. Like the song by Gotye, they become 'Somebody that you used to know'.

In my case, I have a number of people in my phone contacts library, which I simply do not feel I could call to catch up with. Too much time has passed since our last conversation. It doesn’t mean that I do not care for them, or do not wish to still be in their life, but simply, that we have drifted apart. Before my son was born I removed over seven hundred people from my social media account. Not because I do not like these people, but simply because they are not in my life anymore.

My friendship and time is there for anyone who wants to offer the same back. As life goes on, I have realised that it’s more important to have those people in your life who actually want to be there, opposed to those who just want to follow your social media updates and occasionally like a Facebook post. I have learnt not to chase people. You can't force a friendship.

Unfortunately, there are people who simply do not return messages or phone calls. At what point do you take the hint and stop calling them? You hope deep down, that if you meant something to them, they would call you back. Unfortunately this has happened to me. Someone who meant the absolute world to me, never called back.

I have to say that I really f**king miss that person. We could communicate in ways that I haven’t been able to talk to anyone else. We had been there for each other through various dark times. We were about to share the most amazing life changing experience together. We shared a joint excitement, but life seemed to take over, and calls, voicemails and text messages were not answered. In the end frustration took over, and I left a voicemail saying that I wouldn’t be calling again, and that if he wanted to stay in touch, to reach out. But he never called back.

Serious things have happened in my life in the nine months that followed that voicemail, and I have needed to share that with someone. But the person who I would have confided in hasn’t been there. And it hurts. It hurts to not know what his reason was. Perhaps there was something I did that pissed him off.  If you read this, you will know who you are. I was only concerned for you as you were going through a shit time. I wanted to be there for you to ease the burden. I will always wish you nothing but the best in life, and hope one day my phone will ring.

Of course there are others who have come and gone. But none had the same impact as someone who you consider to be a friend for life.

I am lucky though, I have a close knit group of friends and an additional handful of other true friends, who will be friends for life. We do not have to speak to each other weekly to know that we will always be there for one another. I simply will not allow the friendships to fizzle out. They are almost thought of as extended family members, thus is the impact they have made and esteem I hold them in. People like TA, MM, SH, AC, RH, LR, and lastly by best friend DE will hopefully be in my life forever. Seriousness of life, geographical locations, kids, relationships, commitments, and other factors will not come in the way of our bonds.We have shared so much laughter, emotions and have memories to last a lifetime.

My best friend is younger than me, but I look upto him. He has had it tough in his life, but has come out of it as the best man I know. He would drop everything to be there for me, and I know that completely. He has helped me deal with some real sh*t, and I will be eternally grateful. He made me the biggest promise anyone could ever make, that should anything happen to me in life, he will be there for my son and will teach him all of the lessons that I would taught him. I will never forget that.

There are times in your life, where you need help or guidance of those around you.Sometimes you need someone to literally be silly with. To those in my life, I will always be here for you.  Personally, 2016 has sucked for me. Bad luck, bad news and bad timings have all been present. I fully appreciate everyone who has been there for me so far. We all need somebody to lean on at times.