Songs to hear again before I die...

Music does something to people, like no other form of entertainment can do. It captivates and floods your senses with memories and emotions. 

Although universal, it can be extremely personal, and despite being written for a completely different reason, we can take the song, interpret it and make it our own. We all have our favourite songs, favourite bands/artists, and the reason we like them is down to our own unique tastes.

I am one of the few people who is still rocking an iPod, and unlike other iPods I have owned in the past, my current one I have had for ten years and seems to be indestructible. It is my friend on my commute to work, my company when I am out running, and my entertainment on long drives around the country. Seeing as it is now ten years old,  I decided it needed a freshen up!

With that thought I decided to clean up my iTunes account, and remove the songs that I simply do not listen to anymore. I have been slowly building my iTunes library for the last ten years, and my music collection is extremely varied. There are songs which have had zero plays in all the years  that they have been in my account, probably due to me not be interested in them from the start.. So they went to the recycle bin.

The process was therapeutic, and as I played the various of tracks from the various genres that I had created over the years – Pop, RnB, Garage, Hip Hop/Rap, Oldies, Rock, Indie,  Classic Dance, Opera, WWE Theme Tunes etc, I found myself reminiscing on who that song reminds me of, or  where I first heard certain songs, or what I was going through in my life when that song came along.

There were literally hundreds and hundreds of songs on my iTunes which mean the world to me. Some of  them for the good times, and some for the sad times. 

Songs can instantly move you, and change your mind state. 

"Your Not Alone" by Olive, automatically brings me back to the period when my grandmother sadly lost her battle with cancer among other illnesses in our house after spending her final few months living with us when I was fourteen. She fought so courageously, and this song was so prominent on the radio at that time. The lyric of waiting til the end of time for someone, impacted me as I feel I will see her again at the end of my time.

"Hit Em Up" by 2Pac, reminds me of sitting on a wall next to my high school bus stop in 1997, being introduced to gangster rap by my friend Phil, who educated me on the East Coast/West Coast beef, a school friend who would only a year or two later be killed in a tragic car accident. Someone who I looked up to as a teenager, who never knew what those bus stop music lessons would go on to mean to me. He was the first experience of death of a young person that I would experience. It shocked the local community to the core, and I often find myself thinking about Phil to this day. He was a great kid and certainly gone too soon.

"You Got It" by Roy Orbison, takes me back to my childhood, and time spent in my parent's bedroom, my mum singing it to me as I helped her change the bed sheets (it’s weird what you recall after all the years!). This song is the song which reminds me of my Mum.

"Suspicious Mind"s by Elvis – automatically brings my Dad to mind, as he had sung that song at every karaoke event we ever attended throughout my childhood and teenage years. He may sing it out of time, and not in the same way that The King did, but its my Dads song, and I hope to hear him sing it in the months and years to come.

"Paradise" by Coldplay, taking me back to a specific day spent in Koh Phi Phi in Thailand in 2012, in which we went onto a longboat out to Maya Bay, the scene for Leonard Di Caprio film – The Beach. It was stunning and one of the happiest days of my life. It was that day that I made a specific decision about my return to the UK after living in the UAE for two years, and gave serious though about the type of people I wanted in my life, and more importantly – those I didn’t. This was going to be a new start for me and this song is symbolic of that day for me.

I therefore decided to go about creating a playlist of all of the songs which mean something to me; a playlist of songs that I simply HAVE to listen to again and again as the years roll on.

The playlist is entitled: ‘Songs to hear again before I die’. Here is a list in no particular order of just a few of of them:

1.       Everywhere – Fleetwood Mac

2.       My Destiny – Lionel Richie

3.       Only You – 112, Puff Daddy, Notorious BIG & Mase

4.       I Cant Make You Love Me – Tank

5.       You Got It – Roy Orbison

6.       Suspicious Minds – Elvis

7.       Hit Em Up – 2Pac

8.       Paradise – Coldplay

9.       My Girl – The Temptations

10.   Stand By Me – Ben E King

11.   Jump Around – House of Pain

12.   Mirros – Justin Timerlake

13.   Hero – Foo Fighters

14.   Colourblind – Counting Crows

15.   Baby I Love Your Way – Big Mountain

16.   In The End – Linkin Park

17.   World In Motion – New Order

18.   Hypnotise – Notorious BIG

19.   Wonderwall – Oasis

20.   You’ve Got It – Simply Red

21.   How Will I Know – Whitney Houston

22.   Sacrifice – Elton John

23.   Days of our Lives – Queen

24.   Time to Say Good bye – Andrea Bocelli & Sarah Brightman

25.   Candy – Paolo Nutini

26.   My Immortal – Evanesence

27.   It’s the Way – Future Underground Nation

28.   A Million Love Song – Take That

29.   Pompei – Bastille

30.   Songbird – Eva Cassidy

31.   Vibe – R.Kelly

32.   Let Her Go – Passenger

33.   I See Fire – Ed Sheeran

34.   Smooth Criminal – Michael Jackson

35.   Other Side – Red Hot Chilli Peppers

 Have you made a similar track list of songs you have to hear again before your days are over?

The Soap Opera with Huge Men in Small Pants...

Like the majority of young boys in the late 1980s and early 1990s, WWF (now WWE) wrestling was the biggest thing in my life. I had posters on my wall, a collection of action figures to be proud of, and a desire to one day become a WWF wrestler. 

In 1992 I was nine years old. I was luckily enough to go to SummerSlam at London’s Wembley Stadium, as part of an eighty thousand capacity crowd. My Dad took me. It was day I will never forget. I got to see my heroes perform live. Heroes like The Ultimate Warrior, Macho Man Randy Savage, The British Bulldog, Bret Hitman Hart, The Undertaker, The Legion Of Doom and many more all appeared that day, which all added to my excitement. My dad mentioned that he remembers the look on my face that day, despite not remembering much else about the event. I think I found out that we are going to the event a couple of days before hand. I had wanted tickets so bad, but they were like gold dust. Luckily a relative worked for a national newspaper, and somehow three tickets were in our possession. 

When I was a kid, we only had four channels on our television. Therefore, I would beg my father every weekend to take me to our local video store, to rent the latest WWF video. We didn’t have satellite TV until I was in my teens, where I would be able to see the WWE events live on television. 

My mum often reminds me, that as a boy I would spend the majority of my day, laying on my belly in front of the television, watching my latest wrestling video, crashing my prized wrestling figures into one another, making up a full running commentary for the events I had created. The Royal Rumble was always my favourite event to play, I would select my favourite 30 figures, and would create the running order using the information cards on the back of the toy box packaging that I collected from each one. I would shuffle the cards to determine how the match would line up. 

The Ultimate Warrior usually won my events. He was my favourite wrestler on the videos I would watch, and was my favourite figure to play with. He was like a superhero. Sprinting to the ring, shaking the ropes, bright neon colours and awesome face paint, an infinite energy, huge muscles, and a theme tune that would make me so hyperactive. He was the total package for a 9year old boy to aspire to be.

I wouldn’t grow up and become a WWE wrestler. My passion for football had overtaken as I entered teenage years, and by thirteen, it wasn’t really cool to say to your school friends that you still watched wrestling. But secretly, I did still watch it, and I have done sporadically until this day. 

Two years ago, when clearing out my room at my parents’ house, I found my collection of wrestling figures. The one set of toys that I never discarded through my growing life. I had the ring, the soundbox, the accessories, the belts, and the wrestlers themselves were in great condition, despite hours and hours of play. 

My old wrestling figures appearing on TV with Rob Beckett

Despite a real reluctance, I convinced myself that now was the time to part with the collection. I ended up selling everything to an old friend from university, who wanted to use them as inspiration for fancy dress ideas for his brother’s stag party that he was arranging. I sold the collection for £40 + two tickets to my friend’s next comedy gig that was coming up. 

Years later, my friend was appearing on a UK comedy quiz show, where he took some of my former toys as his mascots. It put a huge smile on my face to think of all of the hours spent during my childhood playing with them, but in the time that I had sold them to him, and him appearing on TV, I have had a baby boy, who one day may have loved those toys as much as I did. 

The thing about wrestling, is that it is timeless. There are still guys competing in the WWE who I watched as a boy. (The Undertaker!). The 8year old son of a family friend is as mad about wrestling as I was at his age, and he is learning through TV and video games about the legends of the spot who I grew up watching. The enthusiasm with which he speaks for John Cena and the new generation of superstars, reminds me of my love for the superstars of my generation. Sure it is a soap opera with huge men in small pants, but the technical skill and risk these guys are taking can be awesome to watch, and can bring generations together. We tried in vain to get get tickets for the WWE coming to the UK in September, but we have been unlucky this time. Hopefully he will get to see his heroes next time they are in town.

Warrior accompanied by his daughters during the WWE HoF

As I mentioned earlier, I have only watched it sporadically over the years, but this weekend I watched a tribute programme to my hero The Ultimate Warrior, who had sadly passed away shortly after his induction into the Hall of Fame in 2014. What struck me was I now saw the man, opposed to my hero. During his acceptance speech, his words touched me as he addressed his daughters who had accompanied on stage:

“The most awesome thing I will ever do, is be your father”

Despite all the adulation, the money, the super star lifestyle and experiences in his life, the best thing for him was being a dad.

I think many of the young boys of the late 80s and early 90s, will have watched that documentary and probably identified in their own lives. We may not have become The Ultimate Warrior, Hulk Hogan or The British Bulldog, or whatever we said we wanted to be when we were older. But we have grown up, and some by now will have had families of our own. No matter what we have achieved, whether we have been hugely successful or have done as well as our means would allow, if you have become a father, then that is the best thing you will have ever done. 

As a father now, I cannot wait to see if my young son will be as passionate about WWE as I was myself. If he is, I will move heaven and earth to attend a show here in the UK, as I remember the joy and excitement that I felt as a young boy, watching the Ultimate Warrior wrestle, and the main event where The British Bulldog, (the late Davey Boy Smith) won the Intercontinental title from his brother in law Bret The Hitman Hart at SummerSlam 1992. WWE can bring fathers and sons together. It can allow grown men to revert to the boy they once were.

 For me, there is nothing I have achieved in life that comes remotely close to becoming a father. It is with mixed feelings that I am glad to see that Warrior managed to tell his kids how he felt, and that in turn they will be able to see him live on as a hero in all of those Ultimate Warrior fans who loved him & will teach their kids about him.. But also so sorry for his daughters that they won’t have the man himself.

RIP Warrior and all of the other wrestling superstars of my childhood who have passed too soon.

A letter to my Dad..

Dad, I wanted to write you a letter to say thank you. To tell you how much I appreciate all that you have done for us, how much you have sacrificed, and just how hard you have worked to provide for us as a family. 

As long as I can remember, you have worked flat out to better our lives. You have left at the crack of dawn, returned after dark, and have done all that you can to ensure that mum, K, and I have had the best of everything in our lives. Whilst other Dads on our road would leave for their cushy 9-5 office jobs, you would have to drive 4hours per day to get to your physical hard job, often going abroad to earn that pound coin for us. At weekends you have not sat down and chilled, you have grafted to transform our home and garden more than once.

I saw a quote online that resonated, as it is very true for me. The quote said: 

"When you teach your son, you also teach your son's son"

I will teach my son things which you have taught me. He will have the same qualities and characteristics from me, that I have from you.  As years have passed and I have grown older, we have grown closer, and we have been able to speak about sensitive subjects to a degree, and I know that you will always have my best interests at heart. You have always been my biggest fan. You have always believed in me and pushed me to do better. But you let me find my own way. You have been more than a father. You have been a friend.

But lately there have been developments and subjects that aren’t that easy to talk about, and I know that these subjects scare you, even if you won’t admit it. You have received a diagnosis which must seem like a death sentence and you may have to further tests and prodding and poking by people in white coats. I know that you are loathed to go through that again, after the last time it left you with an infection that meant we could have lost you, but Dad you really need to think about it.

Consider that although these tests could bring dark clouds, it will also bring a sense of blue skies in the future. Blue skies where we as a family can make memories and share laughter. I fear that without the further investigations a storm will come over us and never leave.

I have a son of my own now, and I think that has brought us closer. The bond you have with him is amazing, and has been since he was born. There is something magical about your bond that he doesn’t have with anyone else. I want that to continue into his life as he grows. I want you to be here to experience it with him. 

Throughout my life, I have said that if I can echo what you have achieved in your life, then I would have been successful. You came from a very working class background, to have a lovely home, two happy kids, and were able to give mum the amazing gift of 18years off of work, to ensure she was always there for me and K. We had lovely holidays, K had her dream wedding. You have always been there to give us everything. If I can emulate for my own life and family, then I will have done well.

It is now your time to enjoy life. If treatment will buy you a solid few years of good health, then in my eyes it is a no brainer. Go and enjoy the world with Mum. Go for the holidays you have always wanted. Buy the car of your dreams. You have worked hard all of your life. Go and enjoy it. As you have always said, there is no point being the richest man in the cemetery. 

Please know that all you have done has been appreciated, valued and respected. You are my true inspiration. I hope my life has made you proud, and I hope you respect me as a man I have become.

If storm clouds do come our way, we will not hide away from them. We will face them head on. Together. As a family. We can not give up. We must not. We will not.

Ps - this is the hardest blog to write and harder to share. Realisation of what is going on sucks big
time. - I love you.

Thank you for reading this - whoever you are. If you can relate to this topic, please encourage your relative to open up. It is so easy for them to try to be the typical alpha male and assume this will be ok.


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