Paternity Leave: My 10 top tips...

On August 13^th 2017, we welcomed our second beautiful baby boy into the world. His birth was a complete 180’ compared with my first sons birth in every single department. To start with it was far calmer, far quicker, and for me I was a lot more involved, which was great.  With it being the second time around for us, I had far more knowledge about what to expect. I already knew that my Life Will Change in an Instant.

My partner had once again been a superstar, and our new born immediately started to feed, and passed all required checks. We were told we were able to go home soon! Just four hours after delivery, we were being discharged by the medical staff. But then we received a phone call from Kate’s mum to inform us she was en route to the Accident and Emergency department, as our eldest had slipped and fell, appearing to have dislocated his shoulder. Just our luck I thought. Our eldest is literally 100miles per hour, all of the time. I have lost count of the amount of clumsy accidents he has had so far in his two and a half years on earth, resulting in hospital visits. So it was typical that when Mummy and Daddy were in hospital, that he would wish to join us! I quickly rushed to the A&E department, explained to the staff that my partner was upstairs in the Maternity ward, and that a three hour wait in A&E would not be possible for us. They kindly rushed him through.

At that stage I thought that my two week Paternity leave would take a very stressful turn. How would we deal with a new born and a two year old with an injury. It was that stage I decided to inform my employers of our news, and start my paternity leave.

I am lucky that the company I currently work for offer two weeks fully paid paternity. This is a huge perk compared to my previous company, where I was only eligible to one week full pay and the second week statutory pay. This would have left me out of pocket and struggling to pay bills that month, so I took the one week full pay, and added a second week out of annual leave. I felt at the time that my time off felt extremely rushed. This time around, I had the knowledge that I would get two weeks full pay, which meant I wouldn’t need to worry come pay day. Additionally, I elected to take one week annual leave on top, resulting in three weeks away from the office.

My three weeks off seemed to go past in a tired whirlwind. I am so glad I took the extra week off.  I needed it! We had multiple hospital trips for my eldest, who we discovered after two xrays, had a fractured collar bone, and appointments for my partner who unfortunately suffered an infection which caused her much pain and distress. We also were unable to register our son’s birth until the end of the third week, which was frustrating. We wanted to ensure that we gave ourselves as much time together as a family of four as possible. With our first baby, we had visitors every day, and to be honest it was too much. This time we decided to have immediate family only, which worked for us.

Us Dads are an important function of keeping things together in the weeks following the birth of your baby, however are often forgotten about in the process. A dad will be on an emotional rollercoaster, and will always have other worries and thoughts in the back of his mind. However long you are off of work for on Paternity, it is crucial to make the most of that time you have, and not allow yourself to over think about certain things. Just enjoy the time with your newborn.

Here are my top tips to consider during paternity leave:

1) Avoid work

Leave your laptop at the office and turn off the work phone if you can. Obviously this isn’t always possible, and for those who are self employed, getting any paternity leave will be difficult. But consider that in the wider scheme of things, your baby will not be a baby forever. This precious early moments will never be there again. Your partner will need a huge amount of help, and you will need to be there both mentally and physically. Try to ensure before baby arrives, that you have handed over work where possible, and made alternative arrangements where you can. If you have to take a call, try to get an agreement in place both at home and at work, of a set time you can take a call, don’t let them contact you when they see fit. For those two weeks, let them fit in around you.

2) Accept Tiredness

You will be tired. It’s a fact. It is unavoidable, and it is easily the worst part of the early days of parenting. It will hit you like a sledgehammer, and will be worse than any tiredness you have known before. You will have tired arguments in the middle of the night, which you call each other all names under the sun, accept it as part and parcel of having a baby, and move on. Agree that anything you say at 4am is not really ‘You’, instead it is ‘TiredYou’. TiredYou is a dick, and your partners ‘TiredHer’ is also a dick. Leave the tired arguments in the dark of the night, and enjoy the daytime.

Also, don’t whine about being tired to other people. When my partners waters broke at 11pm, we were told to go to see the Maternity staff, I knew it would be a long night. By 3am we were back home. I had been awake for 20 hours at that point, and we were not in active labour. Three hours broken sleep later, contractions were coming and we were back on our way to hospital. That night, I took the first night feed duty, and probably got four hours broken sleep in all. 7 hours broken sleep in the first 48hours is a sign of what was to come. But if you are to bring this up to people, you are automatically going to be seen as the enemy, so keep it to yourself, and try to get cat naps in where you can!  Understand that if you mention being tired, there's a chance your partner may want to lash out at you. Female members of both families will no doubt give you some disapproving looks, and any other mothers you encounter will tell you that you do not know the meaning of tired! – You have been warned! 

3) Do night feeds

You are already tired, but night feeds are not necessarily as bad as they sound. For me, it was about timing. First off, I was able to watch Game of Thrones airing at 02:00, the same time as it premiered in the US. That way I didn’t have to worry about seeing spoilers the next day, and having to wait til 9pm to watch it was the rest of the UK. (That Dragon! Jeeeez!). Secondly, I was able to watch the McGregor/Mayweather fight as it happened. I was already awake, so made sense to watch it live! Again, probably not a good idea to tell your Mrs that you strategically chose the nights you would do night feeds, and purposely stayed awake to watch early morning television.  

But in all seriousness, I felt some of my closest moments with my newborn son, happened during those night feeds. When the rest of the world was sleeping in darkness, my baby and I really connected. I was able to be as corny as I wanted to, knowing that it was just the two of us. I would be the one to feed and soothe him, I would be the one to watch him fall back to sleep. Precious moments, which I will cherish forever.

4) Be proactive. Get shit done

Don’t be the dad who just sits plays his Xbox for two weeks, as tempting as that may be. Be the dad who does things in the home, that the mum wants to do, or wants him to do, before she has to ask you to do them. Be the Dad who does the housework, cleans the bathroom, does the laundry. Be the dad who is the king of the bottle steriliser, unleash your inner chef. Even if it sucks, and you end up ordering a Dominos, just be active and be the best Dad you can be. Yes you may see yourself as being ‘the help’, but get off of your ass and get visitors drinks and sandwiches etc. Get yourself in the good books, and then when you need a daytime ‘time out’ after a busy night watching box sets during a night feed, you may get one without a verbal ear bashing!

5) Book to register your baby ASAP 

In the UK, you have to register your baby with your local council offices. I tried to book an appointment the day after my son was born. They told me the next availability was not for three weeks. If you are unmarried, then both parents need to attend the registration. This means you will have probably returned to work by this time, should your area be as busy as mine. So, just as you are getting into the swing of things, you are asking your boss for more time off. This is a ball ache you can do without. So get the registration appointment booked asap. If you are married, then you can chill, as your wife can do it for both of you.

6) Say no to visitors

Controversial this one, especially if it is your first baby. But try to limit your guests to family and closest friends only in the early days. As soon as you announce to the world that your bundle of joy has finally made his/her appearance, you no doubt be inundated with people who wish to come for a cuddle with your new-born. My advice would be to be selective. Those two weeks you may be able to take off are so special. Spend it together. People you may not have heard from in months suddenly want to come bearing gifts to show you and your baby love, which is great, but try to schedule them for when you are settled in your new life and when you are in some form of routine. In my opinion, family is the most important thing in the world, and now you have a family of your own, you need to protect it. I do not mean in a Male Lion sense, but protect the time you have together. With our first, we had different people most days, and after the two weeks were up, it was suddenly just the three of us again, as everyone had already met our baby.

7) Take photos. Lots of photos

Precious moments need to be captured and cherished. Although my partner claims she looks terrible, I know she looks beautiful and radiant. Take pictures of her when she is unaware, of her being her natural self with the baby. Ask her to take pictures of you too. Take selfies of you both and your little one. Take pictures of those who come to visit.

Me and my Boys

Once I became a parent, it became very apparent to me what that made my parents. They had become Grandparents. As kids, my sister and I lost one of our Grandfather relatively early in our child hood. I have only a handful of photographs of us together, and no actual memories of him. With my dad having Prostate Cancer, I am aware that although he is in good health currently, that may not last forever, therefore any moments he has with my sons, I want to capture them. As heart-breaking as it is, one day those photos and videos will be all my sons have of their granddad, who loves them so so much. The same applies for any relatives and friends who come to see you all. Take pictures. Keep the memories. Your baby will no doubt ask to see them one day.

Also, are you even a dad if you do not get a photo taken of the baby asleep in your arms, whilst you are getting some shut eye yourself?

8) Go out! Within reason! 

Once you are settled and confident, go out into the world with your baby. It will do you all good to get out of the house together. With our first, we started easy, we went for a walk in the park with our little one, and another time decided to go for a bite to eat. Although I felt the most protective I had ever felt, it brought a sense of acceptance that we would be ok at parenting. We probably had a false sense of security second time round, as we went to a shopping mall on day two. Half way round, my partner couldn’t go any further. So my advice is to take it easy, and keep the car closeby!

9)  Have a 'Daddy day'

Even with classes you may have attended and the books you may have read before baby comes along, until you do something just yourself and your baby, you will always depend on your partner a little. Be brave, take the plunge. Book a treat for your partner, a massage, a spa day, hair dressers etc, and have the baby for yourself. It will be down to you to do all the things that your partner will have do day in and day out when you return to work. This will help you see things from her side, when in a few weeks you return from work to see her still in her pyjamas, unwashed, the house turned upside down, and a tearful look in her eye!!

10)  Enjoy it!

Your new born may be a bottle guzzling, burping, sleeping and pooing machine, but hindsight will eventually tell you that it is a time where the hardest thing to deal with is the tiredness. If you can beat that, you have time to really enjoy learning how to become a parent.

The next months will continue to be a rollercoaster. Just enjoy the ride. Before too long your baby will no longer be a newborn, and the next chapter will begin. Cherish your partner, tell her every day how amazing she is, and always tell both your partner and your baby how much you love them.

If you are in this situation, I wish you and your baby nothing but success, with lots of health, happiness, love and laughter. Best wishes to you and your family.

#oktosay

It is said; that the first step in solving a problem, is admitting you have a problem. This statement can be applied to all of life’s issues. However finally admitting something to yourself can be easier said than done.

Sometimes there is a catalyst that sparks the admission.

For a friend of mine, it was when his partner saw his bank statement and saw how over drawn he had become in such a short space of time. His problem he hadn’t admitted – online gambling. He  had become obsessed by spinning an online roulette board, and placing bigger bets each time to claw back the losses which had originated in small 50pence stakes. He was lucky, it was £500 and something which didn’t cut a huge hole in their life. She was able to stop the problem before it ran out of control. However the trust had been demolished. He then had to fix things piece by piece. Out went the smart phone, all financial control handed to his partner, and in response for her forgiveness, he agreed to attend a Gambling Addiction group. Once there, he was shocked to see how things could have gone. There were men who had literally gambled their life away. Men who had literally lost it all.  He saw men who had turned to drugs and alcohol when they lost their home, their wife and their kids. Men who had attempted suicide and were there through desperation and a last call for help. He knew he had to learn from this. And he has done.

But why is it that as men, we only ask for help when it is too late?

When I first had the urge to write something down, it was I too was struggling with a problem that I couldn’t control. I was feeling low and felt compelled to tell a story. It was the story of my uncle and his struggle with Anxiety and Depression, which culminated in him taking his own life. Forever In Our Hearts.

Little did I know, or was really ready to accept that it was my way of dealing with my own anxiety and depression. I was deflecting what I was feeling in my own life, but needed to release some tension, and instead I opened up by telling someone else’s tale about their feelings.

I had named my son after my late uncle, who had taken his own life back in 1993 when I was only ten years old. The name wasn’t in tribute of the act he committed, but instead a representation of the love that I felt and still feel towards the man. However, after naming my son after him, I had inadvertently opened a wave of emotions, which had made question aspects of my own life.

I had felt a lot of anxiety regarding impending fatherhood before the birth of my son. Was I ready?  Were we as a couple ready? Did I know enough about myself and life in general? Would I be good enough? Would I let him down?

I was expecting a Lion King moment, where I would be beaming with pride and raise him aloft and present him to the world.  In my mind; I had created an anticipation of the wave of emotions which would consume me as soon as he was in my arms. But that didn’t happen. The initial emotion wasn’t the expected euphoria.

It was fear.

I think this was due to the dramatic nature of his arrival into the world. For hours upon hours nothing had really happened in the labour ward. So much so, that my partner and I were taking a nap, when we were woken by the sound of alarms and midwives and medical professionals filling the room, with an underlying sense of panic, with the instruction that our baby needed to come out immediately. In what seemed like a blur, he was out, my partner was high as a kite, there was a lot of blood, and before I knew what was going on, he was in my arms looking back at me.

I was calm for the early days, and felt immense pride in introducing him to family and friends. But soon I found myself very low and mentally beating myself up. Self-doubt and anxiety over shadowed the joy I should have been feeling. To pin point things, it would have been low self-confidence, money worries, stress, job unhappiness, family differences, negatively comparing myself to those around me, all compounded by a level of tiredness I hadn’t experienced before, making me unhappy and making me feel like I was failing as a man, and let alone a dad.

Time passed and I turned my mental state around and good things came my way. We are now 5 and half months pregnant again, our son is a happy two year old, and I am feeling positive for the future, but still in my mind is the fact that I could drop back down to a state of depression, that outwardly no one around me would predict.

I think all dads have these feelings, but as men we simply don't talk about them. We bottle things up. Getting things off of your chest, even if it's trivial, certainly helps.  Anyone can be affected by mental health problems, and admitting that to yourself does not make you any less of a man. Opening up to those around you can really make a difference. Quite often it is the people you would not consider label as a depressed, who are mentally beating themselves up day after day. There are literally hundreds of people in the public eye, who have battled inner demons. People that you would never expect. But they are exactly that. People. Humans. We are all human and all go though lifes ups and downs. The key is not let the downs consume you to a point of no return. To a point where you see no resolution apart from a final one.

It is great to see this exact issue being tackled by charities such as CALM (Campaign Against Living Miserably) and the great campaign Heads Together and the #OktoSay hashtag formed by Princes William and Harry to flag mental health awareness. You would never think members of the Royal Family would be depressed. But if you take away being a royal and all that comes with it, Prince Harry is a normal man, who suffered a huge loss at a young age, which has had a long term effect on his life. It has taken lots of courage for him to admit this.

 It seems the stigma is being removed from talking about your problems. With the members of the Royal family getting involved, it helps raise the message to a wider audience, which can only be a good thing.

If you are feeling low, reach out to people. If you see someone is not themselves, then open the conversation. They may reject it, or they may just open up and get a load off of their mind. It only takes a simple conversation to help people out.

https://www.headstogether.org.uk/about-heads-together/

https://www.thecalmzone.net/2017/03/progreenfreddieflintoff/

https://www.headstogether.org.uk/support/

The Disconnect Between Action and Consequence..

Every day, unknowingly, our actions affect other people. Mostly they are unintentional, mundane actions, but the action of the individual, more than often, has an impact on someone else.

There are certain types of people in the world who I encounter on a daily basis, who drive me slightly crazy with their actions. They probably get on your nerves too. From the unwitting tourist in London, who doesn’t know which side of the escalator to stand on and makes everyone stop in their tracks, and the charity volunteer with a clipboard trying to get us to sign up to something. How about the nuisance cold sales calls we didn't ask for? Not forgetting the people who walk along the train platform with their smart phone in their hand getting in everyone’s way and slowing everyone down. Or the person who knocks into you at the bar, spilling your drink and not apologising? These actions affect us and can easily blow up out of all proportion if someone involved is a certain type of person.

But much worse than those people you encounter with unintentional actions, are the people who think they are above everyone around them, and the laws of the land. These people do not give a shit about their actions. They are the ones that make my blood boil. We have all encountered these people in our lives. And in my opinion, there seems to be a plague of these types of people in our society. The type of people who do not think twice about breaking the law, attacking people, committing crime, sexually assaulting someone, just because they think they can get away with it.

Last weekend, a young man, Oliver Dearlove, was killed in Blackheath, London,  as he waited for a taxi with friends after a night out. 

He was killed after being punched just once, by a man who quickly exited the scene. A man who thought he could punch someone and get away with it. However instead of just assaulting someone, the attacker killed him.

Police in Blackheath after the attack

In my opinion, the attacker is synonymous with an alpha male type of knuckle dragger mentality. A culture within a generation of men not really giving a f**k about the consequences of their individual actions. The type of person who is desperate to be feared, and respected amongst his peers. The type of person who swaggers around with bravado and an attitude of not giving a shit. The sense in his life that he is untouchable. I cant stand these types of people.

 

For whatever reason, the attacker found it acceptable to punch the victim, not caring for the implications that single punch would have. Sure, his argument in court will be that he didn’t mean to kill the victim. But he still thought that he could punch an innocent person and get away with it. 

 

Earlier today, a 31year old man was charged with murder. The accused pleaded 'Not Guilty' to the charge, on the basis that he did not intend to kill or cause serious injury to the victim. It makes you wonder how many other people has he attacked over the years, who haven’t ended up losing their life? We just don’t know. What we do know, is that the accused’s brother is serving life in prison for brutally murdering someone over ten years ago. It indicates to me, that if guilty, the accused comes from a background where violence is common, and there is no fear for the consequence of your actions.

What drove the attacker to do this is unclear, but there was a clear disconnect about his action, the consequences, and the implication that could have on so many people. Part of the problem in my view, is just how slack our judicial service is. There is no real deterrent for crimes in this country, as the courts are simply too soft. We offer ridiculously small jail sentences for awful acts of crime or violence. In my opinion prison is supposed to be hard time. It should be a hell on earth. It should be there to scare people into not wanting to commit crimes and violence. Also in my opinion, a life sentence should be mandatory for anyone who kills another in an act of violence. Even if the attackers intent wasn’t to kill, he did just that. Kill. Therefore life imprisonment is what the verdict should be if found guilty.

Assaults and fights are far too common in our society. Go to any town or city in the UK and there will be something for emergency services to handle. A fight could easily lead to far worse than intended, which makes you question, is it actually worth it?

The implications of the attack were not on the attackers mind at the time, and who knows why he decided to attack Mr Dearlove’s group that night? But the attack would have huge implications. And not only on the victim, but his family, his friends, his colleagues, the emergency services, medical staff and passers- by who tried to save him, and other people in the local community left completely horrified by the nature of the attack. 

The outpouring of emotion and heartbreak has spread far and wide in the local community, with the shock of what has happened to someone who was known and loved by so many people. He was in a good career, with a loving partner who he was planning his future with. He had a large loving family and had recently become an uncle twice to two baby boys.  He was living his life the right way. And now he is no longer with us. His parents have lost their son, siblings lost their brother, partner lost her boyfriend and nephews and nieces have lost their uncle and so on... All because, one man, decided to punch another man in a senseless, needless and tragic attack.

I was heartbroken when I realised who the victim was, the step brother of an old friend of mine. I cant begin to imagine what he and his family are going through. To everyone who knew and loved Oliver Dearlove, my deepest condolences and thoughts are with you. I can only hope that you can be there for one another and get through the tough times ahead.

I sincerely hope that there will be justice for this attack.

RIP Oliver Dearlove - gone far too soon.

Life will change in an instant...

For a lot of men, there comes a point in your life, when people tell you that life will change forever and that things will never be the same again, they are right. It won’t. Life will change in an instant. For you are about to become a Daddy, and it is the best thing in the world.

From the day your partner tells you the news, to the agonising wait for the first scan, and then every week leading up to the birth, you may feel levels of anxiety that you may not have felt before. You may question your life choices to date and whether you are actually ready for the next chapter in your life.  You shouldn’t because you are ready. 

You may have doubts over your income, and whether your maturity levels are acceptable of that of a soon to be father.  Income can rise over time but you may always stay an immature kid at heart, but that wont make you a bad Dad. Your partner will be full of knowledge, and you may wonder what the f**k is going on not knowing a thing. But rest assured you will not be the first in feeling that way, and that you will be surprised at what will come naturally.

In order to not feel like you know nothing like Jon Snow, you may decide to do some reading beforehand. You will find that books will either be very educational, or overly blokeish and laddy, trying to be comical. Depending on the style that works for you, it can certainly be beneficial to get some reading in, just so that things aren’t a total mystery to you. For a nice easy read, I recommend The Expectant Dads Survival Guide.

The attention will be solely on your Mrs from the time you announce the pregnancy (usually after your 12 week scan) and you need to accept that. You have done your job. Let her have her time to shine. Your job from here on is to be her support, learn your stuff, and make sure things are as stress free as possible. You simply need to do the right thing and be there for her. Make the most of her and enjoy eachother. My only main advice for parents to- be, is to make the most of the time you have as a couple. Because before you know it, you will be part of a treble (or more!), and taking babies to spa breaks, romantic weekends away, theatre and the cinema is sort of frowned upon. Get the date nights in before bubba arrives. 

Because once baby is here, a night out together will be a thing of the past. :(

When the time arrives and your baby is enroute, it is time for you to really step up. Your bags should have been packed, pram & car seat should be in the car, the route to hospital should be planned and it is now your time to shine. My tip would be to download the parking app (if there is one for your hospital) to save yourself time paying in the car park. Once inside, you will need to stay calm and supportive, and communicate clearly with the medical staff and family members texting and calling for updates every few minutes.

Understand your partners wishes in advance, but be prepared for any birthing plans etc to get thrown out of the window if things go a certain way. Despite the sheer confusion and panic which you may feel, your partner needs you now, and needs you to step up and be there. Brace yourself to feel totally helpless when things start happening. There is nothing you can do, and you should not think that you know best. You don’t. The professional medical staff do. They will have delivered hundreds of babies. You probably haven’t even watched a full episode of ‘One Born Every Minute’ - let them do their jobs, and stay out of the way.

Your partner will need you. You will hold her hand, you will stroke her hair, you will tell her how well she is doing and most above all, you will offer positive encouragement.  You will see her going through agony that you cannot even fathom, and you will see her in a totally different light than you ever have before. Before you know it, things will be in full swing and baby will be minutes away from being born. The staff will be in and out of the room, and you may feel like everything has gone a little surreal.

When my son was born, he had to be delivered promptly due to his heart rate dropping. I had no idea at this point what the hell was going on, but I knew that my Mrs needed me, and I needed to be calm, despite my own heart rate going through the roof. The midwives, doctors and other staff are yelling their encouragement, and readying themselves for the arrival. “Three pushes Katie, your baby needs to be out in three pushes” is something I will remember for my whole life.

Everything seemed a blur. There were screams, there were things I saw that can not be unseen, there was anxiety and there was fear.

And then he was out. And he was crying. 

It was 16:12 on March 13^th 2015 and he was here. I was a Daddy.

After controlling my bottom lip and wiping the tears from my eyes, I kissed my partner and told her how amazing she had done, and how much I loved her. Before I know it, my top was off and I am holding my son on my chest, skin to skin, with his little eyes looking up at me, feeling the warmest, proudest, most emotional I have ever been in my life. At that moment I promised him that I would do everything I ever can to make him have the happiest most fulfilled life that I possibly can. 

In those moments, I graduated from being a 30year old boy, to becoming a 30year old man. Life had certainly changed.  The room cleared, and it was just the three of us. My family. I looked out of window, with my son in my arms, and as clichéd as it seems, I told him the world was his, and that he would bring much love and happiness to many people in it. 

That evening he met his grandparents, and by midnight I was told to leave by the midwives. Despite my protests, they assured me that my partner and son were in good hands. And I trusted them. They had brought him into the world safely and looked after my partner when she needed them. Despite still feeling today that I should have stayed with them on the ward, in hindsight I was so grateful that I went home and had a full nights sleep. That drive home was something I will never forget. I was in a state of shock. I was up at 6am, having not moved in my bed all night, and I returned to the hospital for the first real day of parenting. We were lucky to be allowed home within 24hours of his birth. 

And it is then that the realisation kicks in. You are now parents, and this little baby is relying on you for everything.

My advice is simple, if people offer help, say yes. Even if that means simple things like bringing you dinner, or doing your washing etc. Let them. If family members want to sit with the baby to allow you to get some sleep, do it. Make the most of the help offered.

Two weeks paternity will fly by, and soon you will be back at work. Don’t expect a big song and dance. You aren’t the one who has given birth, so after the initial welcome back chats, you will be expected to be pulling your weight in the workplace. You will then go home after work and be expected to take over parental duties. The place may be a pig sty, but know that your mrs has been non stop at home looking after your baby.   

If you are like me, you will no longer yearn to be out with the boys every weekend, as the little bundle of joy in your arms will have stolen your heart, and will be the sole focus in your life, but make sure you get time in the diary to see your friends and have some time for you. Just as your partner will need time for herself too if possible.

People will tell you to get your sleep in advance of the birth, as if it is something that can be stockpiled. The truth is that you and your partner will be shattered beyond belief. It is how you manage the tiredness and communication between each other in these moments of sheer exhaustion which will be important. My partner and I made a deal, that anything that was said in a heated argument at 3am would be forgotten by sunrise. You are not you, when you are tired. She will not be her usual self when she is tired either. Let it go and move on.

Life will have changed, but it will have changed for the better. The fun will have started, but I promise, there is so much more to come. There will be highs, and there will be lows. Especially when your baby keeps eye contact with you the whole time they are straining to poop. However the love and pride you will feel will be like nothing you have ever experienced. Cherish every moment, as they are not babies for long!