The End of Maternity Leave...

Today marks the last day of my partner’s maternity leave. To most people without kids, it simply means that this is the last day of her year off of work. But to her, and to other mothers like her, it is a day that they have been dreading since the baby arrived in the world.

For the past twelve months, she has been the primary care giver to our young son. She has spent every waking and many sleeping hours at his every noise, need and movement. She has nursed him, cared for him, cried for him, cried with him, been his doctor, loved him unconditionally and given him every ounce of her being. Yet for her, the hardest part of it all, is that from next Monday, the responsibility is to be shared out with other people. 

Our son will attend nursery one day per week, and will be looked after by his grandmothers for one day each. Although my partner is only back to work part time, there is a definite anxiety on her behalf, that I am sure is shared by all new mothers returning to work. I assume that it is facing up to the realisation that our son will be influenced by other people in the days, weeks and months to come, and that she will not be there for him 24/7 as she has been for the past year.

From my perspective, as a father, I can say that maternity leave has been tough. I wish I could have been around more, but only getting two weeks off of work when he was born, has meant I am used to leaving the house before dark, to return for when he is crying and ready for bed. I got used to only having time with him either as soon as I woke up for five minutes before getting ready for work, or at night time when I feed him his bottle and lay him down to sleep. Main quality time comes at the weekend. It is sad, but I have had to get used to it.  I have taken the full financial burden during this time, and wanted my partner to fully focus on our son. I was happy when my partner decide to only go back to work part time, as I wanted her to be heavily involved in our sons life. My mother didn’t work for 18 years when my sister and I were children, and in an ideal world, if it was her choice, I wouldn’t want my partner to have to work either. But unfortunately we are not in that financial position. I have not exerted any pressure to return to work, and we accept that money will continue to be tight as we move forward.

It has been tough to see her go through so many emotions during the twelve months. He has various allergies, intolerances, and since he was born it has been a rollercoaster of emotions, and my partner has handled everything in her stride. She is scared that she is losing him. But in reality is she simply sharing him, allowing him to continue to grow, develop and learn.

Our son is so curious to the world around him. He has developed into a cheeky, happy, healthy, inquisitive, funny, caring and loving little boy, who is bringing so much happiness to those around him. We are extremely blessed and fortunate. I will be forever grateful for all of the things that my partner has done during these twelve months. Truth be told, I would have been lost without her.

To my Kate,

 Thank you for all that you have done, and continue to do to looking after us all. We will get through the next few weeks, and things will seem normal again in no time. I love you, you are beautiful, and you are an amazing Mum. Your colleagues will be glad to have you back, and your clients can hear all about how amazing our baby boy is.

I know that these next few weeks will be full of anxiety, fear, and a longing to be back with our boy. I am aware that Sunday night will feel like the first day back at school multiplied by a thousand. I know that Monday will be one of the hardest days you will have had. But know that our boy will be there waiting for you when you get home from work, and he will have the biggest smile on his face when he sees you. Our son may not be our little baby for much longer, but the exciting journey as parents is in theory just beginning. Bring on the walking, talking, and toddler stages!

I do not think you know just how much I appreciate all that you have done. You are an amazing mother, and will always be. xxx